Dear Querida Consejera,
I am feeling very nervous about the deportations. What should I do? How can I have hope?
Signed,
Alma
Dear Alma,
I’m sorry you are feeling this way, and thank you for reaching out. When we are scared, sad, or angry, we often hesitate to seek support. Taking this first step to care for yourself is important, and I’m grateful you are here.
I want to share some tools to help manage the emotions many of us are experiencing—grief, anger, and fear. These feelings are valid, and finding ways to stabilize them can help us feel more grounded.
Finding calm in chaos
Hope is the trust that something good will happen. It can feel distant when you’re overwhelmed, but hope is a feeling we can nurture. One way to encourage hope is by easing the emotions weighing us down. While spiritual, cultural, and emotional healing are powerful, the science of healing shows we can help our brains and bodies move out of survival mode. When we find calm, we can think more clearly.
Our nervous system is like the CEO of our brain — when it senses danger, it keeps us on high alert. But we can gently signal safety to our bodies and minds with small, intentional actions.
Start with the way you breathe
Let’s begin with a simple but powerful tool: deep breathing.
Take a slow, deep breath in through your nose, filling your lungs completely. Hold it for a moment, then exhale slowly. Notice how your body feels as you do this. When we are stressed, we tend to breathe shallowly, but deep breaths immediately send a signal to our nervous system that we are safe.
Honor what you are feeling
Our emotions are messages from our nervous system, telling us how we’re doing. When we listen to them, they feel acknowledged. When we ignore or judge them, they get louder as a way of demanding our attention. Whatever you’re feeling right now, I invite you to hold it with compassion. This is hard, and your emotions are valid. Honoring them is an important step toward healing.
Imagine a safe place
Our brains respond to what we imagine. Here is a visualization to tell our brains we are in a safe place. As you continue deep breathing, picture a beautiful place in nature. What does it look like? What can you smell and hear? Most importantly, how do you feel in this beautiful place? Imagine the sense of peace and safety it brings you. Your mind will believe you are there, and that can help your body feel more grounded.
The importance of community
Now that we’ve taken a moment to calm our bodies, let’s focus on our hearts. When hard things happen, we often feel isolated. But you are not alone. Community and loved ones are critical for feeling better.
How are you taking care of yourself these days? Even small acts of care can make a difference.
Here are a few ideas to consider:
- Do things that bring you comfort and joy while supporting your well-being.
- Take breaks from fear-based media. Staying informed is important, but so is protecting your peace.
- Spend time with people who make you feel cared for.
- Seek professional help if needed. Mental health support is a valuable resource.
- Replace misinformation with trustworthy information so you can feel prepared.
- Pause and acknowledge your emotions when you hear triggering news. Give yourself a moment to breathe and reset.
- When negative thoughts creep in, try replacing them with ones that feel more supportive and reassuring.
- Lean on your spiritual practice or beliefs.
And most importantly, do not lose hope. Even in the hardest times, hope and love remain more powerful than fear. Hold onto them.
Querida Consejera is a mental health column tailored to San Francisco’s Latinx communities. I share practical tools, cultural insights, and answer your questions. Whatever’s on your mind, I’m here to help. You can write to me anonymously at consejos@eltecolote.org.