Jesus Bizarro, 60, looks out his living room window on Saturday, March 31, 2024. Bizarro plans on rejoining the workforce for four more years while two of his children finish their university studies and his youngest decides between higher education or joining the workforce. Credit: Hiram Alejandro Durán for El Tímpano/CatchLight Local/Report for America corps member

Talking to a friend from work, he told me that he has been working here for 30 years, living undocumented, and he told me something that left a lasting impact on me. He said, ‘Do you know how long I have been hearing about immigration reform? Since the time I have been here. There will never be progress.’ 

Although I contribute to unemployment through my biweekly paycheck where withdrawals for unemployment and Social Security are deducted, I am not eligible to receive these benefits. Those are contributions year after year, but because you lack immigration documents, you do not have the right to those benefits that any person who is legally in the country has, and it is very frustrating.

I personally knew the entire system as it is presented until now, except that the promises of the politicians made me believe that this was going to change for the benefit of my family and well, for 45 years it has been the same story with [empty] promises from politicians. However, when I chose [to come] to the United States I told myself,  ‘No, well let’s go, surely this immigration reform will not take long.’

I need to keep working. And how am I going to continue working?

Jesús Bizarro

Since we lived in Mexico, they talked a lot about marches being organized [in the United States] and we saw in the news that many undocumented immigrants united in favor of immigration reform. We are talking about 1994 and then [in] 2000, I remember very well that there was a big demonstration in Los Angeles, and with that idea I came here, [I said] ‘We’ll have immigration reform.’ Since then it has not happened. Nothing has happened.

We lived in the city of Cancún [Mexico] — my wife and I, and my three children. We had a relatively comfortable life, but due to some personal problems we decided to emigrate here to the United States, to California, in 2007.

It was very difficult to start. The beginning was very difficult, finding a place to live, to feed your children, especially coming with few resources.

It was difficult for me to get a job, [but] I was able to do it. I was working for a drilling company for 16 years, doing my taxes year after year. Time flew by, and I resigned from the company two years ago due to the strenuous workload.

I am 60 years old and I am looking for a way to retire. However, I am aware that I am not eligible for any type of retirement benefits because I don’t have the required documentation in order. I also do not have Social Security, which means I am not eligible for retirement or unemployment benefits — all due to the lack of proper documentation.

Currently my children study at the University of California, Davis and at the University of San Francisco, and I have one in high school. I am anticipating, once my children finish school, the two of us [me and my wife] plan to return to Mexico and start anew. Because we won’t be able to retire here. We’re not even going to have the right [to Social Security benefits]. And besides, even if we had the right, it wouldn’t be enough for us with what Social Security gives you.

It’s awful. Every month I see Medicare being deducted [from my paycheck]. What is this about Medicare? They deduct Social Security, which I don’t have. And don’t even do the math because what they are taking from you is a lot of money, but you have to contribute and pay your taxes.

Life in Mexico was full of problems, but happy. We had our own house, we didn’t pay rent. And above all, there was a lot of peace.

I see in the news that Americans are migrating a lot to many places in Mexico. I see that they are invading practically silently. In our case, there are many retired people in Cancún. So, when I hear that news in Mexico, I say ‘How is it possible?’ I tell my wife that we, who are here out of necessity, are missing out on a wonderful place where those who have more money are going to enjoy what we had and we left it to come here to suffer.

As the head of my family, I am the only breadwinner and all my earnings go towards providing education, food, clothing and small pleasures for my children. Being a father, I know that it is not easy to sustain a family of five, but I try my best to provide for them. 

I am aware that the Social Security retirement benefits alone are insufficient to sustain a living in California. I had imagined my retirement to be simple. I had planned to work until the age limit for retirement and then, once my children graduated from university, I would return with my wife to our country and enjoy the little help, in theory, that [Social Security] was going to give me — around $1,000 or $2,000. With that amount, you can live well in Mexico. 

There are other forms of individual retirement that many people can achieve due to their income and make their retirement in the ideal way. The little I was able to save has been for emergencies, but obviously not for retirement. Not even dreaming.

I don’t want to be here paying bills for life. I can’t imagine still paying rent in five, eight years. How will I manage to pay the rent? I need to keep working. And how am I going to continue working? 

What gave me strength to move forward and continue working every day at 5 [a.m.] and returning here [home] at 7 at night, is that you have to support your children and see them grow and give them what they need.

I want to encourage my children, that in some way, we made sacrifices, my wife and I, for their benefit so that they can take advantage of doing something in their lives. As a parent, I want to prevent my children from doing jobs that I did. I came here so that they could have a better life. And so far I think things are moving towards a better future.

I mentally committed to returning to Mexico, for better or worse. But sometimes this path, which was already mentally outlined, is hindered by the lack of employment, because you do not have savings, because the wife is better here or likes it here better, or your son has yet to finish [his studies], or because he doesn’t want to study or because he doesn’t want to work. So as a parent, you are worried about all those changes. I want and I believe that I will succeed and go with my wife to Mexico and live there, above all with peace of mind, without stress.